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National Coming Out Day: My Story

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By Kira Eng, 20, Staff Writer

October 11, 2023

Did you know that October 11 is National Coming Out Day? A day to celebrate anyone who is LGBTQ+, it honors those who have already come out and those deciding if coming out is right for them. In honor of the day, I decided to reflect on my own coming out story.

A few years ago, my school had a back-to-school night showcasing different school clubs, including the LGBTQ+ club/support group, a safe space where students can openly express themselves and talk about the various aspects of identifying as LGBTQ+. Friends I’d already come out to as bisexual encouraged me to stand at the table with them. Plus, I’d just found out a few days before that October was LGBT History Month—a whole month dedicated to LGBTQ+ pride and history. This fact, combined with my friends’ support, empowered me to come out to more of my friends and family.

Coming from a relatively conservative family, the thought of not being accepted or loved after I came out was scary, so I carefully considered who I would come out to and when. The family members I did come out to were extremely supportive of me and my choice to come out. Even though some didn’t quite understand what bisexuality means, they were eager to learn more. Knowing that my family supports and accepts me, regardless of my sexual orientation, allows me to feel more comfortable around them.

While I’m thankful to have had such a positive coming out story, it’s important for each person to consider their own situation when deciding what the safest choice is for them. Coming out is your choice and who you decide to tell is your right.

In recognition of National Coming Out Day, below are a few things to keep in mind.

Questioning your sexual orientation and/or gender identity is completely OK and completely normal. Identifying with a label or choosing not to label is about personal preference and comfort. With more experiences, we can develop a deeper understanding of ourselves, which may lead to identifying with different labels. Sexual orientation and gender identity exist on a spectrum and questioning even after coming out is normal.

LGBTQ+ people come from all different walks of life with different resources available to each of us. Sometimes the time isn’t right because it may not be safe or comfortable to come out. You shouldn’t feel pressured to come out. It’s OK to go at your own pace. Deciding when, where and who you want to come out to is completely up to you.

National Coming Out Day is also about celebrating everyone’s unique coming out stories! It’s a chance to feel proud of who you are, supported by those around you and connected to others in the LGBTQ+ community.

There’s bravery in deciding what is right for you, whether that is coming out or choosing not to. It can be a difficult decision but whatever you decide, you’re not alone.

Talking About Let’s Talk Month

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By Evan Scarpulla (he/him), 16, Staff Writer

October 19, 2023

Some kids have their first sex education lesson at school; mine was at home. Growing up with a mom who is a sex educator, I was always provided comprehensive, age-appropriate information when it came to sex ed. This has helped me know how to better manage certain situations and also understand myself.

Even if young people receive sex ed in school, it’s still important for parents and caregivers to talk with their kids about sex and sexual health. Opening up this dialogue can allow families to connect, clear up questions kids or teens may have and provide information not given at school.

October is Let’s Talk Month, which takes place every year to encourage families to talk about sex and sexuality. In honor of this, I spoke to my mom, Michelle Scarpulla, MPH, MCHES®, who is currently on the faculty at the College of Public Health at Temple University, about why this month is so important.

Asking Questions and Clearing Up Misinformation

“Will I get sick if I have sex?” I was asked in middle school by a friend who was worried about getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) if they had sex in the future. Too often sex is talked about in a fear-based way, as opposed to teaching how to make it both safe and pleasurable when someone is ready for it.

Questions like these are part of the reason why I feel it’s important for parents and caregivers to talk to their kids about sex, not just during Let’s Talk Month, but anytime. My mom says that having a month to highlight talking openly “brings attention to the importance of parents speaking to their children about sexuality.”

Asking questions and clearing up misinformation are vital parts of what this month is all about.

The Courage to Communicate

A large part of Let’s Talk Month is having the courage to start a conversation. It’s not always easy. “I think some parents are uncomfortable with the topic themselves and don’t know how to discuss it,” my mom says. “Some parents may be afraid of giving information too early and some just may not have the knowledge themselves to share with their children.”

Starting a conversation about sex can be uncomfortable, whether it’s the kid or the parent initiating it. Figuring out how to build open communication can make future conversations feel less awkward.

If it feels difficult to start the conversation, my mom has some recommendations, for you or your parent: “Use a news story, a post on social media or a TV show that discusses some aspect of sexuality as a starting point for conversation.” Or, you can share resources, like these from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA), with a parent or caregiver, which offer additional tips.

Talking Often and Regularly

“Young people who talk with their parents about sex are more likely to put off having sex until they’re older,” according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. They’re also more likely to make healthy choices like using condoms to prevent pregnancy and STIs when and if they do choose to have sex.

School sometimes focus on STIs or pregnancy prevention, which are important topics. But there are other aspects of sex and sexuality that should be included, like healthy relationships, consent, LGBTQ+ issues, intimacy—physical and emotional—and more.

Taking part in Let’s Talk Month is more important than ever because school sex ed is not automatic. Even when it’s offered, it’s not always thorough or even medically accurate. Open communication at home ensures kids can ask questions to help them make educated decisions when it comes to sex and relationships.

“It’s worth noting that ‘The Talk’ should not be a one-time event,” says my mom. “It should be an open series of age-appropriate conversations throughout childhood and adolescence.”

While Let’s Talk Month is a great time to start having these conversations, talking about and having your questions answered about sex is ideally ongoing. I can speak from experience that it has been super helpful to have this open communication.

The Value of Gender-Affirming Care

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By Nathan Shurts (he/him), 17, Staff Writer

November 15, 2023

Have you heard of Transgender Awareness Week? The week leading up to the Transgender Day of Remembrance (November 20)—a day meant to honor trans lives lost to violence—it’s a time to raise visibility and awareness of transgender people as well as celebrate trans pride and advocacy.

Unfortunately, progress has been slow at times. One important area which has been under attack is gender-affirming care, which remains restricted or banned in parts of the U.S. When it comes to transgender awareness, knowing about gender-affirming care is a good start. For starters, it includes services that support teens both physically and emotionally in aligning with their gender identity.

In honor of Trans Awareness Week, I’ll be taking a look at why gender-affirming care is so important to trans folks.

So, What Is Gender-Affirming Care?

You may be asking, what exactly is gender-affirming care? Well, it spans a wide variety of medical and therapeutic services intended to support physical, mental and emotional health. The American Medical Association and American Psychological Association both support age-appropriate, evidence-based gender-affirming care, in consultation with professionals.

In essence, it helps transgender people—who identify as a different gender than the one they were assigned at birth—feel comfortable in their own skin. This can be crucial to their well-being. “Everyone deserves to feel comfortable when they look in the mirror,” says Ajay (she/her), 17, of Columbus, OH. “At the very least, everyone deserves to not hate the body they are in.”

Unfortunately, many of these treatments have come under fire in recent years, even being banned in much of the U.S. “Three in ten trans youth aged 13-17 live in states that have passed bans on gender-affirming care,” according to the Human Rights Campaign.

Fighting Gender Dysphoria

The negative effects of restricting gender-affirming care are significant. Trans teens often suffer from gender dysphoria—where there is a disconnect between their gender assigned at birth and what they feel is their true gender—to the extent that they may begin to experience depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide.

Gender-affirming care is medical treatment, and denying anyone treatment based on their gender identity is a violation of their human rights. “Gender-affirming care can be the difference between life and death, especially for people who are from unsupportive households or families,” says Katie (she/her), 19, of Boston. “It’s imperative that trans youth have an outlet for relief.”

Essential for Me

Trans teens truly benefit from gender-affirming care, in different ways. “I received testosterone hormone therapy at 17, and had a bilateral mastectomy at 19,” says Matt (he/him), 19, of Buffalo, NY. Matt explains specifically how these interventions helped him. “Taking testosterone was essential for me to feel comfortable in my own skin, and also allowed me to finish my last year of high school without harassment from other students, since I passed as a cisgender man,” he says. “During the first two years of high school without it, I had only been able to socially transition, and really struggled. Top surgery made a huge difference in my confidence, and allowed me to not be limited by having to wear a binder every day. If I didn’t receive this care, I would not be here today, and would not have been able to succeed in any areas of my life that I thrive in today.”

These sentiments are echoed by other trans young people. “Gender-affirming care makes me feel like there’s hope for me in the world,” says Bina (she/they), 20, of Brooklyn, NY. “Without the care I have received, I doubt I would have made it past my teens. Medical intervention was vital in allowing me to build a life worth living.”

Be an Ally

Transgender Awareness Week is a time of reflection. We’ve made some progress in protecting the rights and freedoms of LGBTQ+ folks, but still have a long way to go, and gender-affirming care for transgender teens is essential.

How can you celebrate Trans Awareness Week? Even if you don’t identify as trans, be an ally. Support people you know who are going through or considering gender-affirming care, and continue educating yourself about the issues so you can stay informed. Spread awareness about what gender-affirming care really is, and don’t let misinformation hurt the people you care about.

Don’t just be aware, be an advocate!

Playing a Part on World AIDS Day

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By Lydia Ziegler (she/her), 16, Staff Writer

December 1, 2023

Every year on December 1st, we recognize World AIDS Day to commemorate the lives lost to AIDS as well as note the progress that has been made. For instance, medicines are now available that help 1.) prevent transmission of human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) and 2.) manage living with HIV, the virus that can develop into acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS).

2023 marks 35 years since the first World AIDS Day. The national theme this year is “World AIDS Day 35: Remember and Commit,” calling for us to think about the past and dedicate ourselves to the future.

There is much work left to do and we can all play a part. Community organizations, researchers, policymakers and even teens like you and me can help, by continuing to talk about the prevention and treatment of HIV. We need to make sure this public health issue remains a top priority.

Below are some updates and important info about where things stand today.

HIV/AIDS Today

It’s been over 40 years since the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported the first five cases of what became known as AIDS. By the end of 2022, approximately 39 million people worldwide were living with HIV, according to the World Health Organization.

This shows the significance of having a global commitment to stopping new HIV infections and ensuring that everyone with HIV, regardless of ability to pay or where they live, has access to adequate treatment.

Testing and Treatment

About 86 percent of people with HIV worldwide have been tested and know their HIV status. Testing is an essential step to accessing the available medical treatments that help those with HIV stay healthy.

While there is no cure for HIV, there is medication called antiretroviral therapy (ART) which lowers the chances for people living with HIV of developing complications. ART can also reduce the amount of virus in the blood (also called viral load) to the point where it is undetectable. Undetectable means a person’s viral load is so low that the virus cannot be passed on to someone else. This is known as undetectable = untransmittable (U = U).

Prevention

Pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, is a medicine people at risk for HIV can take to prevent getting HIV from sex or drug use (via injection). PrEP is for people who are HIV-negative and is highly effective at preventing HIV when taken as directed.

Post-exposure prophylaxis, or PEP, can be used if someone has been exposed to HIV. It is for emergency use and must be taken within 72 hours (three days) of exposure.

For a directory of how to find resources like testing, PrEP and PEP, check out this link.

More People Need Access

Clearly there have been significant advances already made by scientists and researchers to help treat people living with HIV and reduce the spread of the virus. But even with all the progress, not every person has insurance coverage, can afford to pay for medication or can access things like testing and care. Resources to help people afford medication, clinic visits and testing need to receive continued funding.

Unfortunately, many people around the world do not have access to resources.

You Can Lead

To make a world without HIV/AIDS a reality, continue this important discussion on World AIDS Day and throughout the year. Continued stigma around HIV/AIDS often causes barriers to open communication, whether between family members, patient and health care provider or partners in intimate relationships.

The 35 Remember and Commit campaign encourages each one of us to make a difference. And you can check out global information here, to see what communities around the world are doing to help those in need.

Educate yourself on how HIV is transmitted and encourage the discussion of safer sex in your friend groups and intimate relationships.

Honor those who have died from AIDS by wearing a red ribbon and supporting any local events for World AIDS Day.

Share information about global and community events, videos or social media that will help to educate and commemorate the important HIV/AIDS Awareness movement.

Together, we can keep making progress.

Coping With Cuffing Season

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By Nathan Shurts (he/him), 17, Staff Writer

February 9, 2024

With Valentine’s Day approaching fast and the winter dragging on, we’re smack in the middle of “cuffing season.” You might be wondering, what is cuffing season? Why does it seem like everyone is coupling up? How am I supposed to be single during all of this?

By reading on, I hope you get some answers to these questions!

Cuffing Season Explained

Cuffing season is a slang term that surfaced online several years ago and quickly caught on. As you may have guessed, it comes from the idea of being “handcuffed” to someone, in this case a romantic partner. The idea is that during times like the colder winter months, the holiday season and Valentine’s Day, people are more likely to want to couple up.

Unfortunately, this can create pressure to get together according to a deadline rather than letting it happen naturally, sometimes leading to couples that aren’t a good fit. “I’ve experienced the pressure of getting with someone just because it feels like everyone around you is in love and you’re not,” says Megan (they/them), 15, of Kinnelon, NJ. “It’s a very lonely experience because you’re not with a person because you love them, you just feel like you’ll be happier in a relationship like everyone else.”

The concept of cuffing season can add confusion when the idea of dating may already feel stressful. “It’s hard enough being an average teen without feeling the pressure to get into a relationship, which, if you’re being completely honest, you might not be ready for,” adds Megan.

The Sting of the Season

When you’re single, it can feel like there’s an expectation to find someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. “Sometimes if I get my expectations up that someone will give me something, I get kinda sad when no one does,” says Lyla (she/her), 15, of Warren, NJ, about Valentine’s Day. “Other people around me during cuffing season don’t really get to me, but my own thoughts and expectations throughout the year do.”

Some teens may not feel ready for dating, may not be into dating or may not have had the right opportunity. Any of these are totally OK. But seeing others get together can cause pressure. “It’s a little tough to see all your friends getting into relationships while you’re single and have never been in one,” says Jay (he/him), 17, of Columbus, IN. “You feel like a third wheel a lot. There have been times when I wish I could find someone, but I don’t want to rush into something I’m not ready for with the wrong person just because everyone else is in a relationship.”

If you decide to get together with someone you don’t really want to be with, you might be in for disappointment and hurt feelings later. “I’d rather find a good partner than finding a partner just for the sake of it,” says Jenny (she/her), 17, of Bethesda, MD. Rather than looking for a fling to avoid being single for the season, it may be better to look at the holiday season and Valentine’s Day in particular in a different light.

Palentine’s, Galentine’s and Valentine’s

Valentine’s Day doesn’t just have to be about romantic relationships. It can be a day of celebration and showing appreciation to anyone in your life that you care about, be it a friend, colleague or family member.

One major example is “Galentine’s Day,” which, via TV show Parks and Recreation, became a well-known tradition of women getting together. For instance, Jenny says her Valentine’s Day traditions involve “celebrating with friends and doing a Galentine’s. I’m not currently single but we still do this every year.”

So this year, don’t let “cuffing season” get you down. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about falling in love, or chasing the perfect night. It can be about showing a little extra love and appreciation to the important people in your life.

I’ll close with some wise words from Jay, first quoted above. “I’m not really bothered by being single on Valentine’s Day,” he says. “I know that one day I’ll find someone and even if I don’t, I always have my friends.”

Have a Heart…for Yourself!

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Valentine’s Day marks the day when couples often exchange chocolates and flowers, go out to nice restaurants and appreciate some quality time with each other. But what if you’re not in a relationship? It may seem expensive, corny or straight-up unnecessary, but I like to think of Valentine’s Day as a great opportunity to show ourselves some compassion, regardless of relationship status.

We often get stuck—whether in busy schedules or in self-criticism—and forget to take time to reflect on and be proud of who we are and what we’ve accomplished. You may not be at a point where you’re always content with yourself, but you still deserve love.

You deserve love if you just failed a test. You deserve love if you were just broken up with. You deserve love if you don’t meet society’s impossible standards. You deserve love, period!

Showing yourself compassion may be difficult at first, but it’s been proven to be good for you. It helps lead to more confidence and joy and less self-doubt and anxiety.

Here’s how you can take some time to be your own Valentine and appreciate your own company this February 14th!

Give Yourself a Valentine

It may seem weird, but write yourself a card, including some things you like about yourself. You are the most important person in your life, so write yourself that letter!

Bonus points for cheesy puns. Animal lover? Q: What do porcupines say when they kiss? A: Ouch! Avocado lover? You guac my world.

You get the idea…

Treat Yourself

Forget receiving flowers and candy from someone else. Whether getting a box of chocolates, going to the movies or taking yourself to a yummy dinner, it’s always fun to treat yourself. Even better, you can get the festive treats at a discount the next day!

Do What You Love

Valentine’s Day is all about love, so why not do something you love? It can be anything, big or small—whether that be painting, exercising or watching a favorite TV show. I love spending time in nature, so you bet I’m going on a long walk with my dog!

Spend Time with Loved Ones

Even if you’re not in a relationship, you can always spend quality time with your family and friends on Valentine’s Day. I enjoy having a Galentine’s Day with my friends, baking desserts and exchanging cute valentines to celebrate our friendship.

 

Remember, Valentine’s Day is supposed to be fun. No pressure to do anything extravagant, just show up for yourself and enjoy being your own best friend!

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What Is Sex Ed for All Month?

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By Candace Pinto (she/her), 16, Staff Writer

May 14, 2024

Besides “May flowers,” May also brings #SexEdForAllMonth! Since 2019, Sex Ed for All Month has brought awareness to the importance of quality comprehensive sex education. A group called the Sex Education Collaborative (SEC)—“made up of 26 national, regional, and state-based organizations with extensive experience training educators to deliver school-based sex education,” according to their website—named May as Sex Ed For All Month.

The goal is to have a world where all young people—no matter who we are or where we live—get the sex education we deserve!

Accurate, Non-Shaming and Inclusive

So, what would this look like? Well, we deserve sex ed that is medically accurate, non-shaming and inclusive of all—whether that be race, gender identity, sexual orientation, ability or any other part of our identities. We deserve to have our questions answered without being judged. We deserve to know not just about anatomy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) but also about safer sex and the importance of consent and communication in relationships.

Having this type of information is incredibly important for young people. It allows us to make safe decisions about relationships and sex by learning not just about any “risks” but also how to be healthy, compassionate and respectful of others. Sadly, there are too many schools in the U.S. that deprive teens of this right, providing a limited education, if any sex ed at all. In fact, “only 29 states and D.C. mandate sex education in schools, and where sex ed is taught, 13 states don’t require the content to be evidence-informed, medically accurate or age-appropriate,” according to the SEC.

Why Is This Important for Teens?

Did you know that research has shown that sex education helps students? Having the facts leads to fewer unintended pregnancies and STIs. It encourages better communication skills and healthier relationships. It provides information that teens may be curious about so they don’t have to go searching for it in places that may give inaccurate, harmful information. It helps LGBTQ+ teens feel seen and understood and all teens to develop empathy for those who may be different than them.

At a time when reproductive rights and sex ed are under attack, having comprehensive sex education is incredibly important. Even though the overwhelming majority of adults in the U.S. believe in the importance of sex ed, there is a minority who are trying to prevent young people from having this valuable information.

But everyone deserves the right to a quality sex education and the ability to safely make decisions regarding sex, relationships and/or their identity.

How Can You Help?

There are many ways teens can help!

For starters, you can build awareness and support the right to sex ed by finding out who makes decisions about sex ed at your school and speaking with them, with respect and curiosity. You can discover how decisions are made about what does and doesn’t get taught as a part of your district’s sex ed.

You could gather friends and peers and ask them what they would like to see as part of their sex ed. You can plan different ways to advocate for more comprehensive sex ed, such as attending and speaking at school board meetings.

Don’t forget there are so many resources out there, including Sex, Etc., to help you along the way!

By bringing awareness to this issue, we hope that it will help remove stigma, spread the word about the importance of comprehensive, inclusive sex ed and allow a judgment- and shame-free zone for every teen to freely ask questions about sex and sexual health.